Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
