Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
