Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize