i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
