I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
