do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize