When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize