Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
