Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
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I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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