So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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