and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
