I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
