Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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