Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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