You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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