i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
