Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
