Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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