i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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