Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
