I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
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