Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Found the puke drawer
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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