these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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