if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
