apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
