Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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