Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
