i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
