Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
