Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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