Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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