C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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