think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
