You smell like stripper and shame
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
