Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
