some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
