I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
How does it feel to date your dad?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize