you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
