we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
