I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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