i need an iv and a liver transplant
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
