Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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