Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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