ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
