hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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