Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
