my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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