There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize