so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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