I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
