Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
