dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
