somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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