I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
