Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
