I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
