Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
