Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
