you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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