Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
