I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
