how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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