so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
