My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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