the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
