what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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